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The Mormon Wedding Policy Change

May 5th 1990, I was married in the Los Angeles temple. My Dad, Grandma and Grandpa and other friends and family who were not members, stood outside the temple, while my ceremony took place. There were tears and sadness, from my Dad and Grandparents, while they stood outside the temple as their daughter/granddaughter was married. (they were never mormon and therefore, were not allowed in to see the wedding)

I, at barely 20, was doing what I was supposed to do, doing what a good mormon girl does, get married in the temple. I didn't even think twice about this. I just did what I had been conditioned to do, since I was a little girl...get married in the "house of the lord."

If you were not mormon, or a non temple recommend holder, you were not allowed to be in the temple.

If one chose to have a "civil" wedding, the couple would have to wait a year to be married in the temple.

That may sound like no big deal, but when all of mormonism is centered around being sealed in the temple, if a couple is not married in the temple first, there is often speculation around why this did not happen. The biggest guess, sex before marriage. One cannot get a temple recommend, therefore be married in the temple, if they are not living the law of chastity and if they have broken the law of chastity, they must go through the steps of repentance, which could take coincidently, a year. There is so much to this and I am not even sure that this is or would make sense to anyone outside of mormonism.

If you water down the "cult like" parts of mormonism, maybe mormonism will not seem so much like a cult???

This morning, the church changed (yet another policy) making it so that a couple can have a civil ceremony (get married outside of the temple) and then get sealed in the temple, when it is good for them, no more waiting a year to make that temple sealing happen.

This is a good thing. So many people going forward will be spared the pain and sadness of not being able to be a part of a loved ones wedding.

As someone who lived the lifestyle of mormonism, very devoutly, this hurts. I know this is in the past for me and I am not even married to my first husband anymore, but I hope that people can see that we spend years, even decades deconstructing the way we were raised, the things we did because we believed and were conditioned to believe, from childhood.

When you created a life built totally on the conditioning of being raised in the church, it creates a long road to un backing, rethinking, refiguring, healing. It makes you question EVERYTHING.

If you know someone who has left the mormon church, know that that comes with a lot of pain and way more courage than you can imagine. It is not easy and it effects every area of their life.

It is complicated and multi layered for many of us.

If you are mormon and find yourself wanting to defend this or tell me or anyone else that they just should have done it differently, or you did it differently, or you feel any kind of defensiveness about your church, can you refrain from trying to explain this away. Can you listen to your loved ones who may be hurting with all of these policy changes? Please?

~Amy

Getting Unstuck, The Next Steps ~ Life After Mormonism

This is what I do, I help people get unstuck from all things faith crisis, I am a Life After Mormonism Life Coach.

I know, I know. It is not always a crisis. But, if you find yourself dealing with the fallout of leaving the church and looking for healthy positive ways to be with family and friends, and your own mental health, I have the tools for you.

I talk all about it in this vlog. I created a Six Week course, because we build upon each week and I custom tailor it to you as week go.

I know it can be challenging to move on after you have experienced a faith crisis. I work with people who are in the early stages of their faith crisis, fresh and raw, through every stage thereafter. Many of my client left the church years ago and find that their faith crisis rears its head from time to time and are looking for was to close that chapter.

I work with people leaving all sorts of religions too. We all sing a similar song. The feeling of betrayal and loss is real. Anger is real. Pain is real. I love helping you find ways to navigate this process.

When you are ready to work with me, send me an email and let's get started. amyloganlife@gmail.com

Lots of love to you my friend,

Amy 

amyloganlife@gmail.com

 

Life After Mormonism and Your Family

You left mormonism and now you are left picking up the pieces, right?

Dealing with your family and friends is a HUGE piece of this puzzle.

In this video I talk about the best way to handle, deal with and love your mormon peepsl

Have a listen and let me know what you think.

And, of course, I invite you to work with me. One on one we are able to dig deeper into your personal situation and come up with a plan and process that is custom fit for you.

Lots of love,

Amy

amyloganlife@gmail.com

Speaking at Sunstone's Summer Symposium 2019
Sunstone Summer Symposium

 

I am thrilled about this opportunity to speak at Sunstone's 2019 Summer Symposium.

 

I, of course, will be doing what I love the most, helping people get unstuck and moving on from their faith crisis.

 

I know how much at one time, you loved it and lived it, mormonism that is, and I also know, through my own very personal experience, how hard it is to figure this strange faith crisis/truth crisis out, when you no longer love it.

 

It is easy to get stuck there. 

 

I have great news for you! You do not have to stay in that uncomfortable place.

 

This is what I will be talking about at Sunstone. I would love to see your beautiful face in the crowd. 

 

Better yet, life coach with me. My six week Getting Unstuck, The Next Steps is perfect for you. I created it with you in mind. I would love the opportunity to coach you through this stage in your life. I promise it is time well spent.

 ~ Amy

amyloganlife@gmail.com

The Reasons They Think You Left Mormonism vs. The Reasons YOU Actually Left Mormonism

When I started talking about leaving the Mormon church aka The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I was blown away at the reasons members of the faith think I left the church.

It starts circulating in quiet whispers, right?

You start paying attention to lessons at church and the way people talk about why people leave the church and you think, wait, those do not apply to me. Maybe they don't apply to all the people I have known who leave the church too.

You start remember lessons, conversations, things you even used to say, for reasons why people leave the church.

#sorryforwhatIsaidwhenIwasmormon !!!

Then you start putting it all together. Oh, wait, those are just reasons that make members feel better about why their friends, family and acquaintances left the church.

Ahhhh, it all comes together for you. You know the reason why you left the mormon church and I dare bet it had nothing to do with the reasons people think you left. Right?!

I forgot to add the kicker, "you'll be back." So many people have told me this. Ah Amy, you will be back, I just know it.

Have a listen to my latest vlog and tell me if this sounds all too familiar.

I have a feeling you will agree.

Enjoy!

Amy 

amyloganlife@gmail.com

Ready to get Unstuck from your faith crisis? I thought so.  Come work with me for 6 weeks and let me show you how. I CANNOT wait to help you. You got this!

Why They Think You Leave Mormonism

This is a fun topic!

Everyone has their opinions about why people leave the mormon church, right?

I guess everyone is right in their own mind. All good.

You know the reasons YOU left the church and that is all that really matters. But it sure is fun to talk about this topic.

In this vlog I also address why it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about why you left the church and why your mormon friends and family do not need to understand you and why you do not even have to give anyone a reason or defend your position. (huge long run on sentence!)

I know that last one is a hard one!

Watch the video all the way to the end. I offer some great coaching here and I would l love for you to hear it.

Amy

PS

Work with me! Life coaching really works and I would love to get you out of stuck mode and into living and loving life after mormonism. amyloganlife@gmail.com

The Mormon Church and The LGBTQ Policy Reversal

Oh, Mormon Church, the pain you have caused so many people.

Are you even aware of the suicides, excommunications, family divides, and pain you have cause so many people.

I guess the church is the church and they get to do what they want to do.

You get to use your brain and figure this out for yourself.

Use your critical thinking skills.

Use your logic.

Question it all.

Let's talk about this new LGBTQ policy reversal.

I was there in November, 2015 at the mass mormon resignation shortly after this policy was revealed (through revelation), standing in the shadows of the church office building, as thousands gathered and had their name removed from the records of the mormon church.

It felt like a very historical day.

Now, 3.5 years later, the church reverses their very own "revelation."

That is good, I guess, but it seems too little too late.

Lots of damage done, lives lost and immeasurable pain.

The church has been hemorrhaging members for a long time, I have a feeling the bleeding just got more intense.

More thoughts in my video.

Amy 

 

The Mormon Church and the LGBTQ Policy Reversal

I am feeling a mood today. One that is heavy on my heart because of the news from the Mormon church yesterday reversing their LGBTQ policy.

Today it is about showing love and support to our LGBTQ community.

What can you do today to show up and love one another?

2004 was the year that I started paying attention. It was the year, in Utah, that same sex marriage was being voted on.

I remember talking to VERY close family about this topic.

I was still very much a member of the church at this time, but this was not sitting well with me.

I voiced my approval of same sex marriage and was shut down.

I sat there, quiet and confused.

Why did it matter? If people love each other and want to get married, why not?

The rest is history.

I started paying attention.

As the news came out yesterday, it blew fast through our communities.

I have read story after story of the pain and heartache our LGTBQ brothers and sisters are feeling. The pain is so real. The hurt so deep.

I do not believe these men speak to god. I do not believe this "revelation" ever came from god. I do not believe this latest announcement was from god either.

The church had to make this announcement. They had to reverse what they had done 3.5 years ago. They had to rip off the bandaid and deal with the fallout.

There will be fallout.

I hope members do not blindly follow their leaders anymore.

Start paying attention.

Stop looking away. Stand up an speak for those who need us now.

Call, text, email, message your LGBTQ friends today. Tell them you love them.

I know if you are here on this page, you are not one to stick your head in the sand and I am so grateful for that.

Just know there are people hurting from the news 3.5 years ago and from the news yesterday.

This is what it means to think for yourself. It looks like stepping out of the box of beliefs you were told were right and true and exploring other ways of being.

If you are scared right now, I understand. I have been there.

That feeling in the pit of your stomach is not satan trying to pull you away from the church. It is your own intuition screaming at you. ( I was told that)

Listen to it. Follow where it takes you.

Being in limbo is no fun. Staying stuck is no fun.

Moving on is scary because you have no idea how to show up in a world without the church when you have been taught it is the only way.

We have heard a million times over and over in sacrament meetings, testimony meetings, talks, general conference...

"I don't know where I would be without the church."

Right?!

You will be away from men who create terrible policies like the one they just "undid."

You will be figuring out how to live your life, on your own terms.

That my dear is freedom.

You are scared, because you have been told to be scared. It is how they set it up.

Any organization that teaches from fear is not one I want to be a part of.

There is life on the other side of mormonism and it is beautiful.

Trust yourself my dear. This is what it looks like.

~Amy xo

amyloganlife@gmail.com

Time To Open The Door ~ Your Doubts & Questions About the Mormon Church
Open The Door to Anti Mormon Literature

Here is the permission to explore, read, open the door, ask questions, figure it out, in relation to your mormon doubts and questions. Sitting on the fence is no fun. 

Back in 2005 I received a call from my best friend. She was in a panic. She was telling me, “Amy, you were right.”

Now, I have to tell you, I had only my feeling to be right about, at that time. Nothing to back it up with yet. I had doubts for years that something wasn’t quite right about my church. Something was off. I couldn’t put my finger on it tho.

I had shared with her, that I had doubts, years earlier when she was just as active in the church as me. I will never forget that day. She shared with me books to read, websites to check out, etc. I was way to scared to start reading up on the church because I had always been taught to stay away from “anti Mormon literature.” (heads up AML is just the actual history of the church).

Anyway, I decided that day, then and there that I was going to walk through the door, no matter where it was going to take me.

Some people walk through that door and leave the church, others stay. For me, I was out. That is really simplifying my exit story, but, in the end, I chose to leave it.

You may come to a different conclusion. That’s okay too. But there is nothing worse that doubting for years, feeling something is off.

You are old enough and you owe it to yourself to study it out. Really. Not just the stuff they tell you in church.

People will say to you, “I’ve always known about all of this church history.” Don’t let them marginalize you. I had no idea and I was about at faithful and stalwart as they come. Ask anyone who knew me.

Always trust your gut. I know it feels scary and overwhelming and just too much. That’s okay. That is right where it needs to be. Open the door. ~Amy xo

Email me anytime amyloganlife@gmail.com

Post Mormon Life Without The Script

Who are you without your script?

When you have a faith crisis, or paradigm shift, of any kind, you may find yourself throwing away a lot of your old ways of thinking, being, and your old answers for everything.

Crazy right?!

14 years ago, I never thought in a million years I would be an #apostate and leaving my religion. But I am 100% and I love it.

I’ve learned so much about myself. I threw away my old life script, realized I get to find new reasons for everything. I haven’t done it perfectly (what is perfect anyway) and I am okay with that.

When you are learning life over again, it can be scary. I get it.

Stumble for a bit, it’s okay.

We’ve been conditioned to stay within the lines. I’m here to tell you that there is so much beauty in life outside the lines. Get your crayons out and start painting that shit up!!!

Everything feels very new.

You get to create your new thoughts, theories, and reasons for everything. You get to decide the “why.” You are most likely realizing they way and the why you did things do not make sense anymore.

Find your own new why and enjoy the process. This process does not have to make you fear the future. It is giving you even more reasons to be anything and everything.

Create your own new personal script!

Amy xo

amyloganlife@gmail.com

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